Comments on: Who said that? Not me! http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me Checking Out London Lifestyles, CODEPENDENCY & Urban Addictions Fri, 18 May 2012 11:24:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: theswarmite http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me/comment-page-1#comment-424 theswarmite Thu, 17 Jun 2010 21:31:24 +0000 http://theswarmite.wordpress.com/?p=178#comment-424 . . .well I think the subtle niceties are preferred Sharon, but we still remain powerless over perception and response, regardless of how we tell it. This is our learning curve. . . .well I think the subtle niceties are preferred Sharon, but we still remain powerless over perception and response, regardless of how we tell it. This is our learning curve.

]]> By: Sharon http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me/comment-page-1#comment-423 Sharon Thu, 17 Jun 2010 21:10:04 +0000 http://theswarmite.wordpress.com/?p=178#comment-423 Trying to control ones mind which is both subtle and profound, and being honest but not offending or hurting can be a hard call. We have both a weak self and a strong self, if we allow are weak side to dominate we will be defeated. So what to do...? Forget the niceties? or play the game of subtle niceties... Trying to control ones mind which is both subtle and profound, and being honest but not offending or hurting can be a hard call. We have both a weak self and a strong self, if we allow are weak side to dominate we will be defeated. So what to do…? Forget the niceties? or play the game of subtle niceties…

]]> By: theswarmite http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me/comment-page-1#comment-17 theswarmite Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:32:02 +0000 http://theswarmite.wordpress.com/?p=178#comment-17 Welcome ACA Miss Fang - get your teeth into recovery huh. No NICE words for you, your just too FABULOUS. xx Welcome ACA Miss Fang – get your teeth into recovery huh. No NICE words for you, your just too FABULOUS. xx

]]> By: theswarmite http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me/comment-page-1#comment-16 theswarmite Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:27:58 +0000 http://theswarmite.wordpress.com/?p=178#comment-16 Hey Jackie thanx for checking my Blog out, it's early days yet. You and me huh? - No more Lifeboat Rescue. That's the way to go Girl! xx Hey Jackie thanx for checking my Blog out, it’s early days yet. You and me huh? – No more Lifeboat Rescue.
That’s the way to go Girl! xx

]]> By: theswarmite http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me/comment-page-1#comment-15 theswarmite Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:25:50 +0000 http://theswarmite.wordpress.com/?p=178#comment-15 Hey Cherry thanx for the BIG UP Support. I must write more. I can see why CODA doesn't suit, we need solutions not identification ( we know who we are ). Workshops? my next one is in Tallinn Estonia June 12,13,14 - hehe - it might be better if I do one in Brizzol. LOL. Hey Cherry thanx for the BIG UP Support. I must write more. I can see why CODA doesn’t suit, we need solutions not identification ( we know who we are ). Workshops? my next one is in Tallinn Estonia June 12,13,14 – hehe – it might be better if I do one in Brizzol. LOL.

]]> By: LaFang http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me/comment-page-1#comment-14 LaFang Mon, 09 Mar 2009 02:14:17 +0000 http://theswarmite.wordpress.com/?p=178#comment-14 Another great blog! Having spent a lot of years being "NICE" to people who didn't deserve it (thanks to the usual alcoholic parent background) I finally (thank cheeses) gave that up for the BS it is. It's not nice. It's enabling and avoidance. I don't care so much any more who likes me. I like me and that's a hell of a lot healthier, plus I'm having fun! Thanks for pointing me in the direction of your blog! Another great blog! Having spent a lot of years being “NICE” to people who didn’t deserve it (thanks to the usual alcoholic parent background) I finally (thank cheeses) gave that up for the BS it is. It’s not nice. It’s enabling and avoidance.

I don’t care so much any more who likes me. I like me and that’s a hell of a lot healthier, plus I’m having fun!

Thanks for pointing me in the direction of your blog!

]]> By: Jackie McCanlis http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me/comment-page-1#comment-13 Jackie McCanlis Sun, 08 Mar 2009 14:18:48 +0000 http://theswarmite.wordpress.com/?p=178#comment-13 Loving this! Yes its very freeing bein honest why should I deny how i feel its who I am. I love my friends who are honest. My people -pleasing was sly manipulation based on fear. Its like a deal - if I do or say this will you like me or do this thing for me? If I act like a victim will you help me out? Yes - and then we'll all enable the disease! All that shit came up in Step 4 - Im stronger for relieving myself, "Our defects die in the light of exposure"Jackie xx Loving this! Yes its very freeing bein honest why should I deny how i feel its who I am. I love my friends who are honest. My people -pleasing was sly manipulation based on fear. Its like a deal – if I do or say this will you like me or do this thing for me? If I act like a victim will you help me out?
Yes – and then we’ll all enable the disease!
All that shit came up in Step 4 – Im stronger for relieving myself, “Our defects die in the light of exposure”Jackie xx

]]> By: cherry http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me/comment-page-1#comment-12 cherry Sun, 08 Mar 2009 13:47:25 +0000 http://theswarmite.wordpress.com/?p=178#comment-12 shit Madge, i am so awed by this. i sorely need to do lots of work because i find it very hard toi be honest wiv some of my friends cos i'm scared of their over reaction and i hate being shouted at. I am very non confrontational. I don't wanna go to Coda, and i don't want to lose my kindness or sensitivity and i don't want to be hurtful. do you do workshops? i'd come like a shot..... big love, Cherry xxxxx shit Madge, i am so awed by this. i sorely need to do lots of work because i find it very hard toi be honest wiv some of my friends cos i’m scared of their over reaction and i hate being shouted at. I am very non confrontational.
I don’t wanna go to Coda, and i don’t want to lose my kindness or sensitivity and i don’t want to be hurtful.
do you do workshops? i’d come like a shot…..
big love, Cherry xxxxx

]]> By: theswarmite http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me/comment-page-1#comment-11 theswarmite Sat, 07 Mar 2009 12:29:05 +0000 http://theswarmite.wordpress.com/?p=178#comment-11 Hey Bron this is a welcome response to my words. How wonderful that we CAN move out of the nice box when appropriate and wonderful that not only you have, but are an encouragement to others in avoiding denial. You and me, long live mavericks! Hey Bron this is a welcome response to my words. How wonderful that we CAN move out of the nice box when appropriate and wonderful that not only you have, but are an encouragement to others in avoiding denial. You and me, long live mavericks!

]]> By: Bronwyn Barter http://www.theswarmite.com/who-said-that-not-me/comment-page-1#comment-10 Bronwyn Barter Sat, 07 Mar 2009 12:20:52 +0000 http://theswarmite.wordpress.com/?p=178#comment-10 I was taught many years ago that N.I.C.E. equals Nothing Inside me Cares Enough....about you, to tell you my truth. I guess it is sort of in the same vein..... I could ramble for hours about the effects of being nice in a situation where it is unproductive, deceitful and plain insane....I know, I lived with an alcoholic for 21 years, so I HAD nice down to an art form....it proved nothing. What it did do ,was lie to my family, friends and kids and eventually when I started to reveall the truth they were all so shocked at the revelation of that truth that I realized that I had done everyone including myself a grave disservice...In actual fact I hadn't been nice at all! Just too scared to face the music. Moto.... Music doesn't hurt, it's the silence that is painful! BRON PS thanks for the blog I was taught many years ago that N.I.C.E. equals
Nothing
Inside me
Cares
Enough….about you, to tell you my truth.

I guess it is sort of in the same vein…..

I could ramble for hours about the effects of being nice in a situation where it is unproductive, deceitful and plain insane….I know, I lived with an alcoholic for 21 years, so I HAD nice down to an art form….it proved nothing. What it did do ,was lie to my family, friends and kids and eventually when I started to reveall the truth they were all so shocked at the revelation of that truth that I realized that I had done everyone including myself a grave disservice…In actual fact I hadn’t been nice at all! Just too scared to face the music.
Moto…. Music doesn’t hurt, it’s the silence that is painful! BRON PS thanks for the blog

]]>