12 Oct 2012
Yesterday I fell asleep 3 times during the day. I thought it was just nana naps or maybe the start of narcolepsy where you nod off in the middle of a conversation or at the wheel. My old friend John, sadly now six feet under, did it years ago. We thought it was the copious amounts of alcohol he drunk, ( who wouldn’t ) but sober driving proved otherwise, on a few scary motorway situations I recall. Even when pissed, we learn’t to decline lifts.
The ordeal, well documented on facebook, took it’s toll, and yes, twice I wanted to stop it, once turning up at A&E at 4am, as I had to skin wash, every hour on the hour, even during night time but it proved to be 100% successful. It will take till the end of November for redness to erase, and my eyelids still remain sore, but it’s a result. I now realise that this is the reason, 2 months later, that my body is catching up on sleep, battered with poisonous but effective chemo, in the same way a functioning addict or alcoholic batters the body with drug of choice, without thoughts of physical impact. As I felt so much better after chemo, it never occurred to me that the body needs what it needs, including restful sleep. The past few months has created a backlog of messages, emails and phone calls to respond to about my health, so thank you all so much for the good wishes, I appreciate them all. I hope this blog will update you and ease concerns.
Yes I now see that I am catching up on sleep. Funny what happens when you put things to paper, so to speak. This is why written work in seminars, workshops and sponsorship Step work WORKS.
Reading through my last blog ( Longevity takes time – March 29 2012 ) about rebranding, waiting but not wanting, I see a pattern emerge from the written word. The pattern is not about procrastination it’s the pattern of observation. Observation that I am very tired, clunking along on airlines most months giving seminars abroad and it’s time to stop for 6 months. I’ve said many times in my blogs that target led thinking rarely works. Check out how important events in your life have been planned, or *occured* while doing something else. A new job, relationship or opportunity often, turns up. Goals have a place, so does the power of intention, but often the power of doing nothing and spiritually waiting outstrips the ego destination. Marianne Williamson calls it Inspiration v Ambition, so this is my current regime, seeking inspiration in doing very little for 6 months. I have reluctantly postponed the Australian Adelaide seminar in March till god knows when, no European seminars till at least May 2013, including starting work in Sweden. Sorry folks, I need to recover my health and the impact of chemo, so travel will only involve relaxing trips here and there, no leading, no mentoring, no presenting. Time to take a step back on cancer comedown.