Recovery, recovering, recovered . .

Therapy speak is a different language for many observers – not quite Esperanto but close – it can heal and alienate at the same time : inner child and "shadow side" being the worst offenders to the man on the street. When Gerry Halliwell left the Spice Girls she was seen clutching THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED as she strode from her seat in First Class off a Jumbo. Ironic, but too sick to see it, some might say.

 

Off course you can still be stinking rich and spiritual but I’m guessing it would take detailed observance to get the balance of ego and practiced letting go of control. I have met many such people who manage it well but having money is no easy journey either. When I was bang at it I thought money was the answer, which is why I had 5 Bank Accounts and 15 credit cards, but then I discovered in the bankruptcy court that it’s best if you manufacture your own pile instead of using someone else’s.

 

In my early attendance of Narcotics Anonymous meetings in London in 1982 we had one meeting a day, full of rich kids on smack or families who could afford to send their kids to treatment. It wasn’t until 1984 that The World Health Organisation declared Alcoholism and Drug Addiction a disease, prior to this time insurance companies would not pay out because the behavior was seen as " self inflicted ". So after this date REHAB became accessible, then around 1986 smack heads came in from London’s lower class skag council estates, so the demographic evened up a bit. In my case I arrived via AA where I had 8 relapses in 14 months until my sponsor said " I think it’s time to look at your drug problem and suggested NA. I went the next day and when I heard the NA preamble of introduction to the meeting read out, the words meant I had come home. I stayed and have abstained of all drugs, including alcohol, ever since. Me and mood altering substances have divorced.

 

In order to remain sane I had to learn a new language using words that were not part of my using vernacular like : ‘clean’, ‘serene’ & ‘recovery’. When anyone is in therapy, counseling or rehab it’s easy to become the language and it’s the easiest thing to do to distance others from us. You might as well come out as a born again Christian. Here in the UK, therapy is seen as ‘american’ or OPRAH, so we are off to a no-no before we start. That’s why I have never billed myself as a LIFE COACH, all USA teeth n smiles, recognising that the volume of traffic is greater within the dysfunctional critical mass – not addicts – but those who do too much but see the road of self help as a leper colony. In other words people who know life’s not an easy journey, but do too much of most things like work, worry and chems.

 

It’s easy to work with the converted who know the therapy speak but more stimulating to work with those who are simply buggered one way and another who need a crisis to seek help, then direction with everyday language.

 

Most people haven’t a clue when someone says " I’m in recovery" and often too embarrased to ask. The word " codependent " brings up all manner of glances, from those in the know to eyes rolling. Labels are useful tools in discovering who we are but at some point the need to continously remind everyone in the room who you are, needs to be dropped. It’s at this point that we become human while privately respecting our pitfalls and trigger points to go astray. This blog site is part of that process of normalising therapy into everyday language. You don’t need REHAB to consider what words you use on a daily basis to self harm instead of self help. Who needs a gun when 10 times a day you say you’re not good enough, stupid or guilty. Louse Hay famously said in the eighties that if you replaced "should" with "could" every time you used it your future WOULD change direction. This is the concept of THOUGHT IS CREATIVE which she pioneered, it’s not a new idea but she refashioned it for joe public to understand. Now she is a millionairess several times over, so those affirmations certainly worked.

 

The appropriate use of language is important. When I started LRT Breathwork training in 1988, for 3 years I adhered to another language of communication, so I didn’t use rehab, therapy or recovery phrases. When I went to NA I avoided quoting AA material. When I went to all purpose groups like the AIDS Mastery, I just became me without a luggage of labels. In early recovery from a ‘dis-ease of self ‘ it is essential to comply with the language until the language becomes the action, which as we know speaks louder than words. The last thing a partner needs is to hear the other one say " I will give up X, Y, Z . They have heard it all before. What they need to see is action and action takes time, faith and trust and this is why we walk the spiritual way on THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED.

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