22 Jun 2009
Not my words
" In the flush of early recovery, I felt tremendous relief. Released from years of painful, reckless obsession with alcohol, I discovered a new sense of freedom.
I thought that now that I was no longer drinking, I would be free to live my life unfettered, with the help of an ongoing recovery programme. I had cleaned up my act, and therefore I had become liberated from addiction. But very rapidly, I found I was not as emancipated as I thought I was. I noticed that, as the chemical craving disappeared, the familiar inner thirst remained. And because of the new, almost raw state in which I found myself, I felt the elemental yearning in a purer form than ever before".
NOT MY WORDS, but they might as well have been.
Christina Grof, wife of Stanilav Grof one of the founders of Transpersonal Psychology including Holotropic Breathwork wrote this passage in her book" The Thirst for Wholeness – Attachment, Addiction and the Spiritual Path.
She goes on to say " The mosiac of addiction has many facets that exist simultaneously. Recovering addicts regularly discover that their their addictions may have been resulted, in part, from the genetic disposition, the habit-forming chemical reaction of their bodies with the drug or drugs of choice, or their family history. They acknowledge their need to escape reality, to numb the pain of their lives, or purge unpleasant feelings. In addition, many recognize that the stress of living in a culture that encourages compulsive, selfish, acquisitive lifestyle is also a factor in their addictive behavior. Those who have the insight that they are also dealing with a deep spiritual craving says that this divine discontent exists under and around all the other elements. Even as they acknowledge and deal with the other aspects of their addiction, if they do not directly address the spiritual craving, they are not adequately confronting their dilemma.
Twelve Step Programmes talk about the addicts experience of soul sickness when he or she is caught in the throes of the addictive process. Addicts face spiritual bankruptcy as they reach the bottom as they approach the time when they have finally had enough of the destructive and self-destructive behavior. These Anonymous fellowships offer an inspired spiritual programme that allows its members not only stop their addictive activities but also to heal the soul sickness and move past the devasting internal bankruptcy.
MY WORDS – After the initial phase of change around Addiction there is much work to do and it is a foolish path to take alone in darkness. The Swarmite is in his third decade of attending 12 Step meetings for meditative spiritual nurture and during this time not one person has asked him what religion he is or pushed him to join one. The world wide 12 Step Programmes hold spiritual content, not religious doctrine, which is up to the individual to absorb as they wish. This in itself IS freedom.
The freedom of the 12 steps indeed is a uniques thing. No salesmen, no one pushing a particular version of God/form of worship down your throat. What a relief. In my first meeting in February of 1985 I heard the word God mentioned and nearly did a runner there and then. I thought “I knew this had to be too good to be true and now someone has mentioned God, fuck, I’m outta here!” Seeing the people in the room were generally pretty damn happy I decided to stick the meeting out anyway, not really wanting to draw attention to myself by pissing off mid-meeting. After all, I was sitting right at the front and was too self-obsessed to let people see me leave. Going for a pee also had to wait. When the meeting was over I asked someone what all the God business was about and they explained. What a relief that was, I could come back again without having to sing hymns, wear socks and sandals and was in with a chance of getting laid and staying clean. Perfect. Life took one big step forward that day, Step One.
Still clean and wouldn’t swap this for anything over 24 years later.
Om namah Shivaya!
droid
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:04 pmpermalink