13 Jul 2009
Needs & Wants
Living in a London flooded with euro tourism it’s hard to see we are in recession. Go to M&S and those wives of mobile phone executives are still piling high, John Lewis has ramped up sales figures and restaurants are biting the crunch with deals that fill seats. Oliver James, who wrote the book AFFLUENZA, a theory based on a virus of shop-till-you-drop mentality says that placing too high a value on money, possessions, fame and outward appearance is bad for mental health. He says that it’s time for cold turkey and in the short term, as with any addicts cleaning up their act, there will be pain.
How right he is.
It takes courage to face the unfaceable, but when you stop to think about it, shopping has no boundaries for many shopaholics as they have learnt to confuse real needs with wants. It is clear that we don’t need a lot of what we buy, we could reduce without too much pain but like a child who refuses to go to school the mouth says " Why should I? ". A real need is for things like emotional intimacy or to feel emotionally secure: a new dogs bollox telly are wants stimulated by the "must have" advertising industry. My Fisher TV was purchased in 1986, from John Lewis and it still works perfectly; I am rigged up for digital but I don’t have time for 4 channels let alone multitudes of ten. I just don’t need it, nor want it. Traveling three months of the year in homes and hotels shows me what crap sat TV is anyway. Having said that, many a night I have sat comatose watching BBC News on a loop in a foreign hotel.
Values are changing with credit crunch, homes are now to live in, instead of showcase homes to sell. Charity shops are full as people clear out and pass on and like Come Dine With Me people are opening pop-up restaurants in their home. This is not new, Leonard Orr founding of Rebirthing and Prosperity Transformation said in 1978 that all you have to do is invite all your friends to dinner – then give them the bill. This supplies your need to make money and the friends who want to help you. This also heals the codependent trait of giving without receiving, this way both parties WIN.
Two new studies on the psychology of spending concludes that buying stuff is the " heroin of human happiness "and that shopping malls and pedestrianized High Streets have replaced parks and other forms of nature to have a day out. We may want to go to Westfield or Bluewater but do we need too? Do we need to buy another pair of trainers, a handbag or a sale bargain. Most people are bored when they shop, lacking motivation or imagination in spending disposable time. Like the addict they are desiring a quick hit, and a mode of escape. Cinema’s and Food Courts in Malls complete the addicts junk day out. This so called " Family " Entertainment is like processed cheese, yummy but no nutritional value. Swarmite has hit hard times in the past as a recovering bankrupt but 5 years with no credit was what I needed to sort my habits out.
Even now I hear a voice saying " do you need it?
Can you live without it? . . .now walk away. I even learnt to shop window shop, looking, checking, then maybe purchasing 2 days later. I also learnt not to shop in London. Everything I have, is purchased while traveling and until recently I traveled three months of each year with the buoyant UK pound. Now it’s time to come home, make do and mend, save money for future trips and enjoy the scenery. Ironicly the recession has given me the busiest time in 15 years as people see that therapy is the key to coming out of a coma of excess.
Ponder a while on this blog and take time out with a cuppa.
Write down a list of wants.
Write down a list of needs.
Write a gratitude list.
With any luck the shops will be shut by the time you finish it.
These 2 links may be of interest :
Brilliant and totally spot on. Having been in a quite well paid job (for Austria) and then loosing that steady stream of cash has done me no end of good. I don’t spunk money constantly eating out, sushi one day, curry the next etc. While the job did give me travel opportunities to India and other places, it had to end someday.
Now, not having any savings (all went whilst outta work, bang went the deposit on a flat) things are very different. I have a flatmate to help with the rent. We live off pasta and home cooked curries that last us for at least two days. Cooking skills gained, spice knowledge increased. I also have a child to help support. That will be for at least the next 18 years, one day at a time. The bills haven’t decreased just ‘cos I don’t have a steady income though. Phone charges are the same as internet connection and everything else. Out of my hands. What has changed is exactly as you say “Do I really need this?” I ask myself every time I think about buying anything from a breakfast out to new clothes. The answer is usually “no”.
Drinking and drugging is something I have not partaken in for over 24 years, massive saving there, cash and soul wise! My rule has always been to only buy what I will use. Pointless, expensive trinkets has never been my thing. Blowing money on designer gear and accessories does not promise me anything, as the advertisers would have us believe they do. Not that there’s anything wrong with a label or two, fine if you can afford it and see it for it’s true value. It will not change us inside, our consciousness remains the same. It’s a bit like draping a diamond necklace around my dog, she is still a dog.
I would not say I enjoy financial insecurity but it has taught me much of late. Spirit and soul are what I am focusing on. That’s where change occurs. That’s where the peace is, that’s where the bliss is. No wonder you are busy Madge, people are starting to understand this. Happiness, serenity and satisfaction are not to be found in shopping centers but they are good places to get the things we need to survive. When the world realises that all the advertisers promises are false and hold no value, depth or meaning and we get back to basics, so to speak, we’ll all have a brighter, easier and less stressful existence.
There’s a balance to be found in all this, I kind of see it as part of the new awakening that seems to be going on. It is a necessary step in the evolution of the species to find out what really is important and what is not. Greed and escapism have a price, it just depends on whether we want to pay that price on a personal or global level. One way or another, we have to pick up the tab. It’s a karma thang baby!
D
droid
July 13th, 2009 at 10:01 pmpermalink
Big Share Droid, almost a blog. LOL. Thanks for the feedback and your valuable experiences including the Curry MasterChef. I can smell the chai from here. Yes, the awakening is occurring, the credit crunch is part of 2012, the Ascension.
theswarmite
July 13th, 2009 at 10:10 pmpermalink
I have become sort of hooked on freecycle. A bit like shopping, but in reverse. You take your own stuff and give it away to other people.
As I clear each pile, cupboard and shelf of years of accumulated clutter, I get to meet local people, each with their own stories to tell, their own lives, often just starting….
And I also get peace, increasingly clearer visual, less stuff around, less noise inside my head….
Steve Blower
July 13th, 2009 at 10:59 pmpermalink
what a fantastic idea Steve!
A Course In Miracles reminds us that giving and receiving are the same.
theswarmite
July 13th, 2009 at 11:08 pmpermalink