Comments on: Love Hangover

By: theswarmite

theswarmite — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 16:28:24 +0000

. . . thanks Cathy for sharing this moving experience. It’s tough to put this stuff into practice but essential nonetheless, as you are obviously aware.

By: Cathy Trainin

Cathy Trainin — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 15:59:40 +0000

I gave my son a date to move out (we’re both addicts and come to think of it we’re both children of addicts), and I stuck to it even when when my guts were urging me to wobble on the day. And my son( bless him ) entreated me not to change the day, ‘ Please mum I cant take it if you change the date – I’ll be alright as long as I know when this is going to end’. Unspoken memories of his depressions and suicide attempts.
At our local HPU he got a one bed flat with seperate living room kitchen and bathroom. ‘ It’s a really tranquill street mum just off Viccy park’. He proudly told me, and I loved him and praised him.
My baby’s powerless and he has no choice but to compulsively spend all his money on drinking. So I met him on Thursday and bought him a load of food. And two days later he’s txting me asking me to order and pay for take out on-line and I smile and think cheeky monkey as I txt him back saying no. I have to let him be, afford him the same luxury I give myself – time to gentley hurt and cry so the hope of healing can be let in.

By: theswarmite

theswarmite — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 22:36:41 +0000

. . . well its a good 2 cents. Thanks.
I took this para out of context Stefan, but yes I think Pia was also writing about the addicted person rather than an ordinary Joe whose relationship has failed. I don’t think any addict is to blame for roots or even their addiction, but it’s easy to see why they could think the opposite. Thanks for the link – very useful.

By: Stefan

Stefan — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:44:16 +0000

Hi,
Pia Mel(l)ody’s statement about “… consider the relationship as a learning laboratory … The pain associated with believing that the end of a relationship is a failure can thereby be greatly reduced” is right, in my mind. However, it also contains a very important fact related to love addiction: the feeling that a failed relationsship is in fact deemed a failure by the addicted person. I have a web-page summarizing information on sex addiction http://www.facingloveaddiction.com and one of the points I found during my research is that often early childhood sexual traumata or a failed relationship or unhealthy infatuation during early adolescence are the roots for sex addiction. In my opinion, the addict is not to blame for these roots.
Just my two cents…
facing love addiction
love or addiction