28 Mar 2012
Longevity takes time
Rebirthing could be named rebranding or reviewing. So I’m doing it.
I’m here for 4 days in Byron Bay taking stock in my third week in Australia, as to where I go next in this important year 2012. I walked along the ocean this morning, passing just 3 people during my hour long parade along the tide, while thinking, creating and examining options. Then this afternoon I attended a rebirthing breathwork group session with Alakh Analda, who with her partner Vic are hosting me so well in North Byron.
We were asked what we wanted to focus on during the breath, what was our ‘intention’, and my mind went back to the morning walk.
As well as the end of the Mayan Calendar and it’s forebodings, 2012 is also the year I reach 65 in May, and ‘God willing’, 30 years clean in October – both milestones. As Alakh noted I don’t look 5 years away from 70 but it dawned on me that I am, so some solice and reward for not picking up one mood altering drug, one drink or one ciggie for 3 decades.
As we started group we picked a card from a pack of themes, with eyes closed, and my card was ENDURANCE and Wiki informs me that ENDURANCE holds these qualities :
Endurance (also called Sufferance, Stamina, Resilience, or Durability) is the ability for a human or animal to exert itself and remain active for a long period of time, as well as its ability to resist, withstand, recover from, and have immunity to trauma, wounds, or fatigue. In humans, it is usually used in aerobic or anaerobic exercise. The definition of ‘long’ varies according to the type of exertion – minutes for high intensity anaerobic exercise, hours or days for low intensity aerobic exercise. Training for endurance can have a negative impact on the ability to exertstrength unless an individual also undertakes resistance training to counteract this effect.
Well I laughed at the card, then focussed on the intuitive meaning.
Leaving wiki aside, I wrote down Endurance ( = struggle ) Tenacity ( = determination ) then LONGEVITY ( = security ). Negative thoughts around Endurance reminded me of the battle I had living with chronic Hep B in the 80′s/90′s then finding Rebirthing breathwork in 1988 as solution, Stuart Wilde’s booklet ‘ Life was never meant to be a struggle’, and the concept of Physical Immortality which led me to discovering the Babaji energy in ’88, who remains till this day my Higher Power. Om Namaha Shivaya.
I don’t teach Physical Immortality now, but it was very useful in the late ’80′s when I held a life threatening illness as a lesson in ENDURANCE to stay alive, but I have no interest in living till I am 300 years old but totally dedicated to living in the moment.
Living in the moment takes time to practice. Living without struggle takes courage to change. Many have heard me discuss the three “P‘s” to take you down the road of codependent struggle : Perfectionism, Projection & Procrastination. Wrap that bundle up with People Pleasing and you may as well be using, for they eventually lead to the same path of discontent. Steps 6 & 7 begin the release in my experience.
Getting older brings fresh lessons. I have had to work through the Unconscious Death Urge to unravel survivor guilt, control and needing to know outcomes. If recovery, over the years, was ever an endurance for me, I would never have made it. I discovered that once that 1st step is made, and held, the chore is over. However, tenacity has often been required to pull through bad days but the desire to look back with moist lips has never occurred. I have never been tainted with the need to revisit using, but forced by circumstance and sanity to revisit the recovery path of longevity maintenance.
One of my early Rebirthing affirmations was ” I no longer need struggle in order to survive “. Eventually it came true. My latest one is ” I am always wanted and loved at any age “. Get to 65 and images of immobility, mental health and living in the world of lack endure the memory. As many have witnessed I don’t fall into these images of age, as I swan around the world carrying my own luggage. But reality bites hard when detail is done, when travel outside of Europe is always risky, as I am ‘uninsurable’ for liver disease and heart conditions. I thought this this morning, as I got some angina pain walking the beach. Babaji can only protect me so far, the footwork needs to be done by me, so it’s only one long haul trip a year from now on, and Australia has booked me again for next year, so other continents will have to wait.
The rebranding of my present life means staying more in London until next year, to rest, relax and review where I go next. While I’m deciding, I will be in Marrakech again next month and Sweden in May so if this is ENDURANCE, I can handle it, or should I say the Masters of the Universe are handling where I go to next. I sit back and wait. There is no deeper spiritual lesson to endure. No worries.