15 Sep 2009
Doors are Closing . .
Recession? What recession? London has always survived turbulence whatever the financial weather or what war we are funding at the time. Let battle commence. For many, the only war we are interested in is getting a seat on the tube in the rush hour. When you do get it, look around and gloat like the chosen ones. Yes!! People who live here moan about the tube yet visitors think it’s beyond belief in service especially if it’s their first trip underground. Cameras flash at Tottenham Court Road escalators as the disneyland journey begins into the unknown, while Londoners rush past looking down ready to grump and push any unsuspecting visitor who dares to stand on the LEFT.
I live behind Euston Mainline Station and woe betide any northerner with a suitcase not used to " the London way " of surviving tube etiquette, on stairs or platform. Londoners know the short cuts, the exact door to rush into ready for an exact EXIT sign awaiting them at destination. And we don’t talk. Please take note spanish speaking people.
Dashing about phone to ear, walking across main roads at will, escaping death and diesel is part of the speed of london lifestyles and propensity for urban addictions. The gap between heavy usage of alcohol & drugs and addiction is slim so MIND THE GAP.
We don’t need to look at boring booze figures to know it’s the most common escape route for Londoners and I don’t mean during the day, it’s at night the problem emerges tucked in bags and briefcases – the bottle ( or two ) on the way home.
The most common question I get asked is " When does drinking become a drinking problem "? My response is usually vague as they interject that, they don’t drink in the morning, or at lunchtime, as if this makes any difference. It is only when I am able to deconstruct their lifestyle, their feelings, fears and demands on self that I get closer to the answer. It’s true that people drink mostly for reward, that’s why London pubs are full to bursting on a friday night, a prize for getting through the week in a job they hate.
I loathe walking through the hogarthian west end at the end of the week, it’s deeply unpleasant to view such anti-social behaviour, but I’m just an old git who remembers women wearing gloves and a decent bag.
I’ve been off the sauce for almost 27 years and I got sober before they invented the Wine Box, much resentment there – getting rid of bottles caused upset – but I have embraced the use of alcohol for others as a softener. Over the years I have had to learn to face situations raw, head on without anesthetic, to feel like an outsider on the coke ( ice & lemon ) at clubs, bars and parties. Drunks bother me but merry doesn’t or slurred words. The secret is knowing when to leave and when to stay but I had no idea I had a drinking problem until someone pointed out that every pic they had taken of me over a ten year period, I had a glass in my hand. The jury was out and they came back with a guilty verdict.
The problem with assisting someone to decide whether booze is a problem is the problem of deception and deception is the core of denial. To be honest drinking was OK for me, yes my first drink in the morning was the remains of the last drink the night before, but I was a functioning alcoholic who lived alone, worked alone and created my own work. The real problem came when I stopped and bearing in mind I had taken valium for 17 years ( via 3 doctors at the same time ), I trembled and shook for 5 weeks, couldn’t sleep and had cirrhosis of the liver to boot. So who am I to say what a drinking problem is? We all drink differently.
It’s up to the individual to decide for themselves what works and what doesn’t for them. Having said all that, I train clients to aim for " purposeful using ", an act of harm reduction and the truth is that most are not alkies they just reach for the bottle when the going gets tough. Supping ale in a pub is the public face of letting the hair down, this is not the problem, the couple of bottles or tinnies at home is likely to cause more damage with no one to witness the aftermath and like child abuse, most alcohol abuse happens in the home, not in the public arena.
Today’s medicative meditation is to check how you self harm at home. It may not be alcohol, putting your partner down too often will eventually harm the relationship and your well-being. Check why you self medicate emotional disturbance. Check how you feel when you have no booze at home. Check how depression rules your thought base. Write a drink diary for a month. If you are a binge user, check out your inability to express yourself honestly and MIND THE GAP between social and dependent drinking. Cheers!
The most important thing in someone asking themselves if they drink too much is to be honest with themselves about it, otherwise the excercise is pointless. I guess some people just don’t really know what too much is, whilst some obviously do. It’s a fine line. I worked with a binge drinker and coke head who would get into the worst situations and behaviour when wasted but believed it was not a problem cos he didn’t do it every day of the week. Denial is the enemy of seeing the truth, no matter how painful. Sometimes we avoid the truth at any cost. The spiral continues. After 24 years clean and sober I catch myself still in denial. Recovery is always work in progress.
Thanks Madge, much love, The Droid
Droid
September 16th, 2009 at 1:46 pmpermalink