” I’m on a PLANE! “

Not content with charging £2.50 for a cuppa or excess luggage for a wheelchair user, O’Leary’s latest wheeze will attract the kind of people

that Noel Coward sang about in his playlet  Sail Away "

. . . why do the wrong people travel when the right people stay at home ". 

I know that sounds a bit Hyacinth Bouquet, people traveling without a shirt and tie but look at the society we have created through lack of boundaries and boundaries are the solution to saner living. 

Anti-social behavior is the blight of urbanites on any day of the week, Friday night in the West End of London is deeply unattractive fueled by office workers let out of school exercising the British right to get slaughtered for simply doing a job they hate and not a hoodie in sight. Wotever.

Any kind of intervention hails disaster, so we walk on head down rancid with rage. 

I am not suggesting you risk getting shanked to state your case but doesn’t it always make you feel powerless and cowardly? I simply avoid these trouble spots, like Night Bus stands, taxis always curry my favour when it comes to stress reduction, however how can you avoid the crying baby or bingo wings on your armrest when it comes to Air travel? In short, you can’t. It’s the luck of the draw.

I once flew to Miami sitting next to a man with a voice box in his throat. Now you would think that having overcome cancer he might have shut the fuck up and delivered grace and solitude. Instead he talked for England and I wanted to bash his box in, not a spiritual approach I grant you, but you try sitting next to a Stephen Hawkings sound-a-like in economy for 9 hours.

It is very rare that I venture into a cinema after 6pm. This is because I want to enjoy the film without watching people text on mobile phones, teens eating fire buckets of Popcorn and foreigners translating sub plots until I scream – give us a break!  Is it really poor parenting?

It’s easy to blame the parents when it’s the cinema chains quest for profit that is the real traitor, encouraging people to behave as if they are watching the film alone at home with no respect for others.

This brings me back to the vileness of Ruinair – profit before people again - but at least BA eventually find your luggage, O’Leary’s outfit don’t even have local agents on hand. He will always insist that you get what you pay for – well give me nice Stelios every time, heavy hand luggage ‘n’ all. No extra cost there ( and no phones yet ).

Instead of the trolley dolly insistence that we watch safety instructions ( even if you are a frequent flyer ) I have a hunch that more heads would bob up if the instructions started with : "  Thank you for flying Ruinair – we thank you in advance for considering the person next to you, in front and behind you. Try to keep to your allocated space leaving the arm-rest as free as possible without digging knees into the seat ahead of you. Try to keep your seat upright during the flight and if you wish to recline your seat warn or ask the person behind you first. Do not debate the issue if this is inconvenient. If you need to make or receive a call on your mobile phone please go to the back of the aircraft. Avoid the risk of shouting into the phone over engine noise. Please put your texts on silent or vibrate. "

Are these just dreams . . or will mobile phone use on all airlines gradually creep in? I hope this marketing ruse to attract bums on seats will fail after the romance of the plaything wears off, after all they banned smoking, liquids and nail scissors with ease. 

It can be done.

Today’s task is to take on board other’s needs as well as your own.