10 May 2009
I iz certified
When people ask me what I do ( like in my job ) I stumble – because every word I use conjures up a misconception. If I say LIFE COACH, I yawn before they do and if I say therapist they ask what approach I use as a psychotherapist, if I say " Breathworker " or " Global Trainer " we enter staring territory. Like they stare and eyes roll over. When I say I have been doing it for 20 years they get their coat. I have been tempted along the way to train as a fully qualified pukka psychotherapist but held at gunpoint by people I trust not to do it. " Don’t do it to yourself " they utter " they will undo all your work ". My own view is that I am so " out there " with experience working with the untamed that a tamed approach would not work in the areas I work in.
When I first started my 3 years with the LOVING RELATIONSHIP TRAINING ( LRT ) my attraction was that it broke all the rules.
I came to it in 1988 with 6 years Twelve Step Recovery experience under my belt before I uttered a breath plus 2 years in 121 weekly psychotherapy 1984-86. I attended at least 5 Twelve Step meetings a week for 3 years then 3 meetings a week for the next 3 years, all before I spent 3 years with London LRT Coaching Programme and I have one certificate for that.
Everything I have done has been from the intuitive creative heart. In my using years I had a shop in Camden Passage in Islington selling Art Deco Ceramics of which I was untrained. So untrained that the Victoria & Albert Museum in London bought half my stock for their 20th Century Ceramic Exhibitions Collection. At the same time as running the shop I worked " lunchtimes" as a Directors Chef for a firm of Chartered Accountants in the City of London feeding all the partners. I had no training whatseover but kept the 20 partners very happy with roast and puds. Nothing fancy. My third job of the day started dead on 5pm where I was manager of an Art Studio until 4am. I did all these jobs for 3 years very successfully even though it was the seedbed of future addictions.
In my early recovery when I hit the buffers from all directions a learned friend dragged me to the 4th floor of the V&A Museum and said " LOOK!! " your addiction took away your potential but never destroyed your talent, and it seemed that I did in fact have a skill for ceramic hunting without having the certificate.
It’s a pity they don’t hand out certificates for INTUITION.
So I hold 2 important certificates. One as a Loving Relationship Coach & Breathworker and the other for almost completing one length of a swimming pool in 1988. Every Saturday for 1 year I went to an Adult Aquaphobic Swimming Club to learn to swim and I never gave up. I have a massive fear of drowning, ( as I nearly drowned in amniotic fluid in the womb – which is why my mum had a 10 minute labour and I shot out ) so this hideous weekly exercise really did me in.
After 1 year of trying and still not completing one length of the pool they gave me the bloody certificate for turning up. So I have 2 certificates. Almost.
I have all the training certificates of the weekends I attended outside of LRT, the AIDS MASTERY Trainings, the Reiki, the Body Harmony Effectiveness Training, the 2 weeks of 16 hours a day advanced Breathwork trainings etc, etc. When I first started with LRT we had to write down why we wanted to do the training and I wrote " to see if I am trainable ". I left school at 16 with A level Art and A level woodwork and I still can’t put up a shelf. I worked my way up in Advertising and stayed for 25 years and I drifted into what I do now – it kinda happened. No great plan. No life coaching, no 5 year plan.
Life is about opportunity. Sondheim wrote in " Into The Woods " that opportunity is not a lengthy visitor. How right he is. Maybe we need to create certificates in intuition not a fixed route which is why conventional psychotherapy has never grabbed me.
I don’t want to fix people and have supervision when my client appears to be not " working it ". I can’t be held responsible for the time it takes for a client to " get it ". Over the years I have gained a reputation for working with people where psychotherapy has failed them, this is why my fortnightly sessions are 3 hours long. Some people need direction not sympathy or a kick up the arse when needed.
Perhaps this is why I have constant waiting lists. Experienced direction – no manual.
Even though I didn’t learn to swim, I did learn not to pick up a drink or a drug since 1982 and no one will give me a certificate for that coz it ain’t worth the paper its printed on. I could pick up any second, any minute. The option is there but I don’t take it as my intuition tells me clearly what will happen and all along my life journey, chance, opportunity and intuition has played THE role not a certificate. Not a certificate or any piece of paper has saved my arse. The only certificate I need is one I can’t see, the will to surpass the ego that insists you are not good enough. Some of my closest friends with the most wisdom have been certified under The Mental Health Act for their own protection at some point in their life – so much for certificates. Kids leaving Uni are now working in Macdonalds, so much for education, education, education. Mind you it would be useful if everyone had a review once a year ( with a certificate ) to see whether they are well enough to have a relationship and a loving one at that.
I fear the failure rate would be high.
The next certificate I will get in this life time is one I will never see – my death certificate. For those who wonder what it looks like the one above belongs to ELVIS.
One addict that never made it. So much for Gold Discs huh?
I have loads of certificates, too. This training, that training…..
and the only one that actually has any buzz for me, is the one I got for jumping out of an aeroplane.. with a parachute, I should add.
Madge, you so often write (and so beautifully) what is true for me too. Thanks!
Steve. xx
Steve Blower
May 11th, 2009 at 9:32 ampermalink
. . glad you pulled the chord, so to speak Steve – mavericks need to stick together. Thanks for the feedback. x
theswarmite
May 11th, 2009 at 9:56 ampermalink