31 Oct 2010
Halloween Special : The Ego Death
Surrender – The Mystery of Death and Rebirth
"Followers of traditional Western psychology are apt to be horrified at the idea of the ego death, because there are basically two very different understandings of what "ego" is. The first definition comes from Sigmund Freud. Freud believed the human psyche was composed of the id, the ego, and the superego. The id is made up primarily of our basic instincts. The ego concerns itself mainly with conscious perception and with everyday functioning. It is also a sort of guardian for the forces of id. The superego represents a kind of unconscious ideal for the conscious ego and performs the role of our conscience.
Using this definition of the ego, we can readily see why it’s destruction might be a cause for alarm among psychologists. Without a conscious ego self, which more or less keeps the lid on Pandora’s box, or the id, the resulting explosion of instinctual forces could cause what is termed psychosis. But there is another definition of ego, with a more universal application. From this second perspective, the ego is a false self that we mistakenly identify with as being who we really are. There are many different ways to characterise this form of ego. We could say that it is composed of everything that causes us to feel separation from others, the Higher Power, the universe, or even ourselves. We might say that it is made up of our character defects, sub-personalities, or patterns that we seek to transform through the Steps and psychology.
We can refer to the AA Big Book for our most personal and appropriate definition of ego: " Selfishness-self-centredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity . . . " Nearly every spiritual discipline on the planet has its goal the reduction, eradication, or death of this false self, or ego. They all affirm that without this death, we can never discover our true self or know real happiness in life.
If we examine once again Bill W’s story, especially the time just prior to his spiritual experience, it is clear that he himself was undergoing just such a death. Listen to his words: "Now I was to plunge into the dark . . . The terrifying darkness had become complete . . . ". In other places he spoke of hopelessness and utter futility, and about being beaten by alcohol. And throughout this time, there was always the sense of aloneness and loss – loss of job, friends, family, and ultimately, loss of self-esteem.
This extremely painful process whereby we are systematically stripped of every facet of our identity, every sense of who we are, is what we mean by the ego death. We may more easily recognize this death by a term we know intimately in our own recovery. It is what we call the "First Step experience". The hellish journey toward a recognition of powerlessness and unmanageability is our own first form of the ego death. Without the First Step experience*, we cannot recover.
words by TAV SPARKS : Chapter 7 – the Wide Open Door /The Twelve Steps, Spiritual Tradition & The New Psychology
*Step 1 NA : We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step One: AA, DA, GA, NA, & OA http://brevity0.tripod.com/Step%201.htm
