27 Sep 2009
Green Eyed Monster
Envy serves no purpose except to negate the present. Imagining that the grass is greener on the other side is fools paradise, it only belittles where you are now, and where you are now is often the solution. Many expect to find happiness in objects owned, so we stupidly think that what others own will bring happiness to us too, but the only object you need to find your own level of happiness is in a MIRROR. Look in the mirror and observe what reflects back to you. Can you stand looking at yourself for longer than 5 minutes? No wonder you envy others if you need to turn away in haste – it’s an easy one – you don’t like yourself very much.
Then ask yourself why others would envy YOU? Not the car, the house or the retail shopping – just YOU. If you were stripped of everything who would you be? Sadly we rarely spend time questioning our sense of self. Who would want to look at that?
Judging by the vast addiction issues in urban UK society the answer is not many.
Looking at yourself, assets, defects and all, takes courage not money.
We spend money covering up our YOU with things we don’t need just to pass the time avoiding YOU without no-thing. Think of those people that lose homes in Bush fires, watching from afar as vast areas flame out. What you hear is gratitude for life, for being saved, for surviving beyond purchased pleasure.
I have never gone along with the religious deadly SIN approach, since Pope Gregory declared it so in the 6th Century. Instead I see ENVY as a defective human trait that can be easily transformed via gratitude since I can’t see the religious punishment of being placed in freezing water in hell, very productive for anyone other than Pope Gregory. The reason you have the desire for other peoples status, situation, skills and looks is because you think they are so much luckier than you, smarter and more attractive than you and you couldn’t find a better way to put yourself down other than facing the mirror. Twenty five years ago I attended Louise Hay workshops where we had to look into a mirror tile for open eye meditation and it was not comfortable saying I LOVE YOU into reflection.
One participant I recall was going abroad on a year long trip, but I had no idea I was envious. I felt short changed by my own circumstance, resentful of people flashing money when I had gone bankrupt, and thought people " lucky " because they had money or an easy life. When disco diva Yvonne Fair belted out " It should’ve been me " I knew exactly how she felt. Part of my emotional addiction was the need to push up to the front of the queue, to demand like a child and sulk if it all went tits up.
Not a pretty sight in any mirror I grant you.
Marianne Williamson said about envy:
"whenever anyone say’s you’re so lucky – just remind them that you practiced ".
When you get your own house in order, things start to happen around you.
It takes commitment, patience and practice. Others may see the results as luck, but you know better.
For me practice has been to wait my turn in the queue and bathe in other peoples success. When they win, I win, it’s just not my turn yet. Practice means looking in the mirror until you smile instead of smirk. We can enhance the inner image of ourselves by dressing the outside in fine threads but it won’t move one jot the dark soul that lingers and never forgets. Working on the inside, on our hurts and jealousies, unexpressed anger and false perceptions of where we think we need to be will demolish envy in a stroke. Being grateful for what you possess rather than what is missing in your life will breed inner peace and lack of expectation. When you stop watching the kettle, it boils.
Stop demanding and things happen.
Next time you feel envious of someone ask yourself why you feel so hurt.
Being ignored, passed over and overlooked in childhood can last till deathbed if left unchallenged and is often the cause of relationship break-up, debt disorders and jealousy.
Not feeling good enough is a practice well taught. I suggest you start the process of reversal by checking out that mirror.
Loved this. For so many reasons.
For the most part, envy is behind me. Watching how it consumed & made miserable people in my family, friends etc pretty well cured me.
Envy is a happiness sucking waste of time. It also makes you miss out on the good things that are all around you, and makes one very uncomfortable to be around.
Lafang
October 20th, 2009 at 12:37 ampermalink