Dump the Roses! – Talk.

Valentines Day – don’t you just love it. In the Thatcher years I befriended a US marketing man who worked for Gillette Razors in the 60′s. Gillette’s problem was that razor selling had lost its bite and as we witness in MAD MEN on the telly, flash new marketing was the rage. Several fingers were tapped in the creative boardroom until some spark reflected that Moms had Mothers Day but Dads missed out. ZING! A great new marketing opportunity to flog some razors arrived as Gillette invented FATHERS DAY and gifting for men.

And so it came to pass.

It makes you wonder who actually invented the marketing concept of Valentines day way back when Victoria had a Prince Albert. I was going to Wiki it but the peoples encyclopedia is as honest as Delboy Trotter and a busload of bankers these days – so who can you trust? Recent studies suggest that 2 out of 3 people in relationships are also shagging someone else so I doubt whether it’s your current partner. Sorry to put a damper on it all a few days before you order the big red bunch but there you go.

St Valentine offered love and marketing men delivered fear. How clever. Fear of forgetting the day itself, fear of reprisal if you do and fear of being seen not having a partner at all. Single-ism started here. This recipe of disaster played into the hands of florists, restauranteurs and Hallmark Cards, let alone the industry of romantic novels. I blame Dame Barbara. Coked up with Royal Honey she turned out tosh to appease the pain of the masses. The pain of reality, unrequited love, sexless platonic love and not a mention of the love that dare not speak its name – self love. Rabbits only jumped around in fields in those days.

With the credit crunch now biting the bankers bum and unemployment rising, the effect on relationships will be severe. What you put up with money flowing will not be as attractive when money dries up. No more easyjet jaunts to Prague to kiss n make up, it’s Eastbourne or Camber Sands from now on. This may be a blessing in disguise because relationships need communication not fancy guilt trips to gloss over the dysfunction of union.

Get real, do detail, tell the truth faster and own those mistakes quicker for authentic connection. Valentines Day is an opportunity, I grant you, to reconnect with each other without the kids or needy clients breathing down your neck but wouldn’t it be great practice to create a window of regular opportunities to constantly review your relationship and time spent together. A relationship that’s based on holding a mortgage or family together needs air, a chance to breathe back passion, purpose and tenderness into the cake.

Romance has a place in a relationship but it’s not for Valentines Day. True romance is about praising your partner daily, giving your time generously without rush or resentment and recognising that the small remarks rather than big statements have more edge. Maybe we need a Valentines WEEK – when all relationships review themselves like a yearly appraisal in the workplace – think of the opportunities for marketing that.

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This was my Hospital Club blog for Valentines Day 2009